Battle with the Expectation Monster

Artist Statement: This piece is about my inner struggle with panic attacks. The panic attacks started after a psychological trauma that I suffered while living at my previous home and the main trigger for them was an impossibly high expectation that my guardian had for me. That expectation was that I would be perfect and that was impossible to attain, no matter how much I tried. In a way my therapist inspired me to do this, as did another artist named Sonya-Kelliher-Combs, and this was my act of, “transformational art of healing and remembering.” This piece is also about how I have forgiven my previous guardian but also symbolizes how I will not let the panic attacks control my life. I did it in the medium of chalk pastel on gessoed canvas. The canvas itself is purposely a non-perfect rectangle just to emphasize that perfection is an impossible expectation.